WHAT HAVE I LOST A FRIEND OR MY LOVE???????
"i miss her so much!!!!!!!!!"
i said to myself as i saw the missed call on my phone standin on the
platform watchin the train which was leavin the staion. the missed call
was from tht "one girl" who over the last 2 yrs had become such an
important part of my life. wid me were standin 2 more friends of her
who had come to see her off.
at tht moment i din know wat was leavin my life "my best buddy or my
love"????????
the train reached the farthest pt i cud see and i got another missed
call from her. all the moments i had spent over the past 2 yrs were all
comin back to me as i walked out of station movin to the parkin lot.
we had met 2 yrs ago casually thru a common frnd and very soon become
gud friends." tht gal is hot!!!!!!!!" was wat i had said to myself wen
i saw for the 1st time. we spoke of everythin we cud bout our life's to
each other and discussed our failures,success, personal relatonships
etc. and supported each other. i discused my crushes wid her and she
hers and never realized tht we both were such an awesome pair.
we had fights ,we had arguments all so serious tht an observer wud say
tht we wud never patch up again but we always did as we cudn't stay
without each other. after all we were buddies!!!!! it was so awesome
wen she cutely said "sorry" after i apologized. every moment spent wid
her was special. it was gr888!!!!!!!
as she stayed alone in a hostel she wud often go to her parent's
place(out of town) for a week's holiday.tht 1 week wud be hell for me
as i wud miss her so much and the only thing which saved my day was my
1 hour STD chat wid her on the phone. but above all i knew was that
she's gonna come back but now i don't even know wen i wud meet
her???????
those night drives wid her ,her chin restin on my shoulder and she
talkin to me bout different things and givin me lectures(at times) was
all so awesome. and all i knew tht i wanted to spend as much time wid
her as i cud. i stil failed to recognize my feelings. but it happened
very soon.
few months before she was leavin we had a major fight and we reallly
din speak to each other for a seriously long time. wen i did speak to
her we argued and being hurt i uttered somethin like"tht felt like as
if i was very minute particle in her life wich really din affect her in
any way". we anyways patched but a few days later she handed me over a
6 page note and the whole content of hte letter was she trying to tell
ME how much i meant to her and how majorly i affected her and in it was
a small gift for me(i am not tellin u wat it was).
she confessed in her letter tht "i am one of those very few people who
cud affect her emotionally" and lot more which i can't talk bout as it
might get boring for u guyz. i wrote an apoligising letter which she
read in front of me. after readin the letter she cried and i wiped her
tears. moments alter she was in my arms huggin me tightly. tht day we
spent a lot of time together and the it all added up to the quality
time i have lived in my life.
it was now tht i started feelin there was somethin more than wat i
assumed was close friendship. i was fallin in love wid her and worst
part of it all i never told it to her. my freinds kept tellin to
express my feelings but i resented due to the fear of losin all wat i
had and in the process losin all the oppurtunities i was gettin to
express my feelings.
i still don't know tht shud have i told her about my feelings atleast
wen i had gone to see her off at the station. there were other frnds of
her present ,her mom was also there. she was delighted to see me as i
had told her i wont come to see her off but had pulled off alast minute
surprise. tht day we din have much to talk bout and even she, as her
other frnds around were keepn her constantly busy. all we did was
looked in to each others eyes occasionally as if we were conversing
thru our eyes.
few moments later i was standin in the platform watchin her train leave
and confused wid one question in my head "what have i lost??" and i
hope i get the answer to this question the next time i meet her.
i miss her so much man!!!!!!!!!
Current Mood: Confused
Current Music: nothings gonna change my love for u ever!!!